It all started well for Russell. Like a growing number of busy 21st century managers, he wanted more balance. He counted himself lucky when he and his wife worked out they could afford him to cut back to four days a week. His own manager, although hesitant, opted to support him rather than risk losing years of knowledge and experience.
In the first few weeks, Russell relished the new arrangement. He was surprised at how the simple act of picking his kids up from school made him feel more a part of his own family. At how relaxed taking part in routine family conversation made him feel. He even found himself (secretly) enjoying playing umpire in sibling spats.
Meanwhile, Russell also felt that he was much more focused and productive when he was at the office. He put that down to the extra headspace he seemed to have.
But change crept up on him. It was his wife who noticed first. Where he would start checking his email from home once or twice a day, that grew to hourly. Twice in a row, calls to the office caused him to be late for the school pick-up. Increasingly, as before, he complained to his wife about the length of his to do list.
Russells newfound work-life balance was teetering.
Then a news story prompted an epiphany. During a report about a recent bushfire, Russell heard an interview with a farmer bemoaning the loss of his fences. The farmer grumbled that without effective boundaries around and within his property, he had no control. Russell realized that the same applied to him.
He had not established any boundaries around his time. Russells full time colleagues worked, more or less, within the natural boundary of the weekends. He had not in his own mind properly adjusted his own boundaries to fit his new circumstances. He needed to better separate his work time from his life time.
He had not established any boundaries around his expectations. In the past he had worked hard to manage the chronic frustration that his to-do list always seemed to grow more quickly than he could prune it. Now, working less time, he would have to adjust his expectations further. There are only so many hours.
Finally, Russell realized that not only had he failed to properly establish his own boundaries, he had not made them visible to others either. His boundaries, like a national border, would only hold when respected by those on each side of them. Making his boundaries visible would require discipline on his part, clear communication and support from others.
In short, Russell came to understand that you cannot have balance without boundaries.
It took time, but Russell built his boundaries and before long found himself, again, enjoying both more satisfying family time and a more productive approach to his work. Balance prevailed.
David Brewster is the editor of Your Balance. He is a Melbourne-based freelance writer and editor, writing on work, society, management and politics. He is also the author of two books. www.davidbrewster.com
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