Daddy Day Care – Re-writing the Rules of Childcare?

Dad giving up work to look after the baby?  Sound like a myth?

I ran a few posts in parenting forums recently and it would seem it’s happening more and more as ambitious mothers want to return to work.

The statistics: A CareforKids.com.au survey found just under 10 per cent of Dads were full time, stay at home Dads; 16 per cent are working at home either full time or part time and therefore contribute much more to the day to day parenting tasks; 35 per cent of families have both parents working or studying full time.

And some background: Lots of new mums feel a sense of loss for their ‘corporate’ self after baby has arrived. Think about it, before bub arrived, some people were consumed by the 9-5 (or 8-6!) routine. They dreamt of work, couldn’t sleep because of work and then woke up thinking of work. Now please don’t get me wrong here – I know we all have a life too but our job gave us direction, a track to run on, to have goals and a sense of achievement.

In my experience, now our baby is here, brand new mothers do not have the desire or capacity in our brain’s hard drive to be so consumed by work. Instead we opt to allocate times of the day and week to allow us to indulge in multitasking (see previous blog posts!). After a few months the fog does clear and work does become a dinner table topic once again as mothers consider their options for returning to work.

So when the discussion of returning to work arises, what about dad staying at home? I am a new mum, but I still “heart’ my job!

When my husband and I had the discussion around returning to work and getting back to earning double dollars the challenging conversation around childcare popped up.  You know the one…do you have to go into the office?  Do we have to leave him? Who can care for him like we do? We felt guilty, torn and could not imagine handing him over to anyone. With our family in the UK, ‘grand-parenting’ was not an option for us.

So I ran a few posts in parenting forums and got these responses/comments:

• Mum works from home, goes into the office as required and arranges occasional care (neighbour, friend)
• Mum leaves kids with grandparents (if around)
• Dad does a four day week allowing mum one day in the office
• Dad is a full time SAHD (stay at home dad)
• Dad is a part time WAHD (work at home dad)
• Both parents work part time
• Family day care is a comfortable first step
• Childcare Centres help integrate you into the ‘system’
• Nannies were hired after mothers’ groups teamed up to share the care of their kids
• Start a work from home job

I was comforted to see that I was not the only one with this heart-wrenching dilemma.

So after a lot of thought and a bit of negotiation we have come up with a solution that suits us, allows us to work, earn money and enjoy our baby.  I am reminded by strangers “you never get those moments back you know!!”  But the truth is, I do need to work over and above to consistently demonstrate that this part time flexible arrangement can work. I am also lucky that I am in a role that does not warrant sitting in an office and also being distracted by my colleagues.

So with me working three days a week and dad on four, we are compromising dollars for time with our baby.

As every new parent knows the goal posts are moved just as you think you are on top of things, so I am expecting things to need to be reviewed and often, but for now, it works!

(Image Devine in the Daily)

Sally-Anne Blanshard is Director and Coach for Nourish Coaching. With over 12 years experience in in recruitment and consulting Sal is trained in knowing exactly what questions to ask you that will get you thinking and then creating results. Sal is an energetic and focussed coach who is skilled in helping you navigate your thinking to create positive change. Coaching programs are available in areas of Career, Job Search, Small Business and Personal dilemmas. Don't forget to Like Sal's Nourish Coaching Facebook Page too. www.nourishcoaching.com.au sal@nourishcoaching.com.au

Tagged as: baby, childcare, Day care, Family, SAHD, Sally-Anne Blanshard, Stay at Home Fathers, Stay-at-home dad, WAHD